Parental Alienation
Syndrome is currently a popular buzz word in family law. Coined
by Richard A. Gardner(1),
the term Parental Alienation Syndrome implies that one parent is
consciously or unconsciously sabotaging the relationship between
the child and the other parent. In more severe cases the child
is responding to the need for closeness of an emotionally
disturbed alienating parent. While Gardner acknowledges that the
rejected parent may have some realistic problem in the
relationship with the child, he assumes that there is no
substantive reason for the level of the rejection, such as
physical, sexual, or emotional abuse.
The dilemma for
attorneys dealing with these cases is that quite often extreme
accusations are made as the explanation for why a child
reportedly refuses contact with one parent. One side will claim
child abuse, and the other Parental Alienation Syndrome.
However, it is important for attorneys to consider also that
there will be many cases in which there are more commonplace
problems between parents and children that will lead to
temporary estrangement. Lack of empathy or parenting skill by
the rejected parent, the child's tendency to align with one
parent as a way of resolving the difficult position of being in
the middle, or developmental issues in which a child will more
naturally want to take a defiant stance with a parent, are
problems that can be helped if the rejected parent gets quick
help through counselling.
Mental health
professionals tend to agree that time is of the essence in
dealing with problems of parent-child estrangement that can
develop into Parental Alienation Syndrome. If contact is stopped
between parent and child, a pattern is likely to develop such
that it will be difficult to mend the relationship Delays
inherent in formal court proceedings make it difficult to use
orders to reinstate contact.
If the child is put
into therapy with a mental health professional who identifies
with one parent and excludes the other, the mental health
professional can become part of the Parental Alienation
Syndrome. Mental health professionals are as likely as attorneys
to contribute to the division of the family into separate
warring camps, described in the chapter "Unholy Alliances and
Tribal Warfare" in the book by Johnston and Campbell, Impasses
of Divorce. Thus, delays caused by court proceedings and the
division into warring camps of attorneys and mental health
professionals can contribute to a full blown Parental Alienation
Syndrome.
How can an attorney
responsibly respond to a case in which a child is reportedly
refusing contact with one parent without contributing to
Parental Alienation Syndrome? The solutions will require legal,
evaluation and therapeutic interventions. If one parent has gone
so far as to consult art attorney, it is unlikely that
counselling alone will help this family. Any abuse allegations
will have to be taken seriously but also weighed against the
equally problematic issue of disrupting contact between the
rejected parent and the child. Attorneys' involvement in
facilitating a mediated solution can be crucial in both
providing protection when necessary and preventing disruption in
contact.
First, either by
agreement or court order some contact should continue. Since
judges may be reluctant to order it, a mediated agreement
between parties can provide limited or monitored interim contact
while the causes for the problem are investigated. If the case
involves Parental Alienation Syndrome, as described by Gardner,
the child will experience the legal mandate to visit the
rejected parent as relieving his guilt or responsibility about
being with that parent.
Second, a neutral
evaluator is in the best position to evaluate whether there are
substantive reasons for the child's rejection of one parent or
whether the child is responding to the needs of the other parent
to have an ally. The attorney can use mediation to facilitate a
speedy selection of an evaluator rather than waiting for the
court to appoint one. This step is especially important when
abuse allegations are made.
Third, the attorney can
work to negotiate or mediate the selection of a neutral
therapist who will work with the child and the rejected parent.
This form of therapy will almost always be ordered as result of
the lengthy court process, except in the more extreme cases of
abuse. Therapy should focus on specific problems and solutions.
An anecdote from one judge suggested that the solution to a
twelve year old not wanting to spend time with his father was as
simple as suggesting that the well-to-do father buy a piano and
a computer for the child to enjoy in the father's home. Many
parents must be helped to tune in to the needs of their children
rather than their own needs at the time of their divorce. If the
case involves the more severe Parental Alienation Syndrome, as
described by Gardner's theory, therapy between the rejected
parent and the child provides a place for the child to test the
reality of his or her fears about that parent. Whatever the
grounds for the rejection of the parent, it is better for the
child to have therapy early in the process rather than
experiencing a long break in contact.
Attorneys should expect
that there will be reluctance on the part of some parents to
negotiate or mediate parent rejection problems. However, an
effort to explore the reasons a child does not want to spend
time with one parent will benefit the child whatever the reason.
Sometimes a mutual good faith effort will show there really is
abuse or such animosity between parent and child that distance
is the only solution. However, an attorney who attempts a
negotiated or mediated solution will know that all avenues have
been explored and that he or she has not contributed to Parental
Alienation Syndrome.
1. Richard A. Gardner, "Parental Alienation Syndrome and the
Difference Between Fabricated and Genuine Child Abuse," (1987).
Creative Therapeutics.
